My arm hurts. It does not like mousing at all. I'm spodabee getting one of them trackballs instead of my mouse. I have a hot thing up my sleeve to soothe the pain. Its a teabag looking oddity that, according to the package, will stay hot for 10 hours once shaken. It feels a bit moist when I reach in to reposition it. It's making my armpit sweaty.

I'm finding it too hard to put words together again. I'm blocked.

My mom and sister came for Thanksgiving and I wanted to lie on the floor and sob for awhile after they left. I feel so defeated by distance and time, so powerless in such a huge world with so little time to enjoy the company of people I deeply love. I have been feeling somewhat more calm in general since their visit, trying to channel my sadness and focus my attention and affection on Mr. and Little S. I can't believe how days can pass and three people living in the same house can barely make eye contact, or for that matter, conversation.